Saturday, May 20, 2017

A friend in need is a Friend indeed

I have the worst headache last night. It was so hurt until I texted Zoey because I need a painkiller.

I cried so hard because it just so fucking hurt.

Both my head and heart are so fucking hurt.

After I took a painkiller, I just went to sleep and woke up this morning. I am fine.

After sembahyang subuh, I wanted to continue my reading and writing for this one fella, the FYP.

I make time to text Farina. She's the only one who I can trust and will understand me.

I told her everything, from how pathetic I am having no money at all, how hurt I am with my mother,
how terrible my condition, and how sad am I.

She directly asked me my account number, planning to give me some money.

I can say nothing. I cannot refused her because I really need money.

I ate maggie almost everyday.

And yeah, thats my diet.

After a while, she gave me  a screenshot, showing that she transfered RM100 to my account.

And I couldn't help myself but to cry even harder.

We've gone through many things together, and we knew how pain it was to not having any money in campus life.

We used to treated each other. Some nasi, leftover nasi from her stall, starbuck, and some tomyam.

I'm hardly cry for any other hardship I'll face in life.

But this, the family. They're exceptional.

I refused to answer their call for three days when she scolded me for being careless and I lost my phone.

They called Farina ( we were housemates) repeatedly in a day.

And I refused to answer them.

For days.

call me derhaka or what, I have my right to be silent.

Once, I was so mad and leave home immediately and came back at a very late hour.

I dont care, because they never bother.

I wont wake up early in the morning because I dont want to meet them.

and they dont bother.

They never bother to ask me when I'm going back to here, until I told them "esok nak balik"

and they were surprised. "so fast eh?"

and once, she was mad at me for not telling her when I'm going back.

hey, you dont bother to ask anything about me at the first place, never bother to listen to what I'm going to say, so why bother now.

and every second of life that I'm using their money, I feel the burning desire inside me wanted to be economically independent ASAP.

my head ache again from crying too much.

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