A month of Exposure

Assalammualaikum . Semoga Rahmat dan Cinta Allah memayungi kita semua .

Almost a month kat Palam . Aku mula mengenali wajah sebenar 'dunia realiti' . Realiti masyarakat . Realiti apa yang melanda rakan sebaya , dan juga diriku . Realiti yang pahit untuk ditelan tapi memang kene telan jugak . Tak boleh nak luah . Nanti mati pulak si bapak . eh , kalau telan , don't worry , mak tak mati . Mak suka kte telan masakan dia . okeyh , sorri , merepek .

Grey area in Malaysia undoubtful . Very very grey . Memang tak dapat nak bezakan actually mana yang hitam mana yang putih . Everything mixed together . -,-" . 'Bernafas dalam udara jahiliah' . Teringat quotes ni .

Again , all I want to share is what Allah had done for me , what Allah had destiny for me , what Allah gave and will always give me .

Alhamdulillah . 18 years of life , my 'life' is getting better . With 'friend-till-jannah' by my side . And bertambah
Sahabat yang baik adalah satu anugerah tak ternilai . Untuk orang bujang mcm aku ... ada kene mengena x ? Ada . You don't need a guy to calm you down when you're already down . You just need a friend sejantina yg boleh remind and calm you with words from Allah . All love from Allah yang we couldn't see or actually tak perasan sebab kita perasan sibuk , sang sahabat boleh tunjukkan . Saling menguatkan , saling menyokong , tak benarkan dia jatuh , sanggup berkorban untuk menarik si sahabat . Ain't that beautiful ?

Ceruk mana pulak nak cari kawan mcm tu ??? Ingat senang ke nak cari ?

Sape kata senang ? Ada aku kata ? It took me 3 years of war in a battle with myself before Allah gave me her . And them .

Trust . The power of trust is affecting you like 150% more than you ever imagine . Everything starts with what you believe within yourself . If you don't believe on yourself , would you have the courage to talk in front of crowd ? Test it yourself . Nak cakap depan kelas pun takut takut lagi .

Living in Palam way much better than in Seseri and PLKN . 2 places that gave enormous impact on my life . Palam , is where I applicate everything I learnt from Seseri and PLKN . These 2 places taught me a lot about who is actually , stay with you , when you are sad , you are about to dying (sedih sangat la kot) , you are about to give up on everything , when no one with you , when no one understand you , when you think , you are all alone in this cruel world .

HIM . The One that never leaves you . Sedar atau tak , memang HE never leaves us . It just , kita yang pilih . To be with HIM , or to leave HIM .

Leaving Allah means you are dragging yourself to eternal suffering .

Live well , live hell . You choose .

Kat sini , everything depends on your choice . Your own choice . If you choose to be with them yang suka lepak campur laki perempuan kat cafe , no one will halang kau . If you choose to sleep in the kuliah , not listening to the lectures , no one will care . If you choose to stay up sampai your subuh burn ,  no one actually would care , unless dpat housemate yg akan tolong gerakkan . Untungla . Tapi , smpai bila nak ada orang tolong kejutkan kau untuk kau tunaikan hak kepada Tuhan ? If you choose to study and not praying , no one will know . If you choose to have a boyfriend here , no one actually akan halang , yang mengutuk ramai la kot.

Everything is on your own .

Sayang , bila aku tengok rakan sebaya , rakan sebangsa , rakan seagama , rakan seakidah, tak merasai keperluan kepada Allah dengan mata hati yang terbuka . Allah yang menanti penuh cinta kepada mana mana hamba yang sudi bangun malam walau sibuk macam mana sekalipun untuk mengadu dan memohon taubat kepadaNya . Semuanya hanyut dalam mimpi , kantuk yang dahsyat impak stay up belajar , yang bangun subuh pun , antara sedar tak sedar dah tahiyat akhir . Sedar-sedar da atas atas katil . Subuh yang precious dibiarkan mcam tu je tanpa menyedari betapa besarnya kebaikan pada waktu itu .

Kita pilih untuk ada rutin hidup yang sama mcam kat rumah . Sambung tidur lepas subuh . Seronok en ? Tambah - tambah kalau kuliah mula lambat . "yeah , ni boleh sambung tidoq ni!" . excited sungguh untuk sambung tidur lepas subuh . Lagi lama lagi nikmat , lagi puas . Kalau nak nikmat sejati lagi , hujung minggu . Malam tu , pulun ar study , tak pun tengok drama korea , movie marathon ke , maklumlah , da duduk ramai-ramai , best le ngadap bende-bende tu . Sampai 2 3 pagi . Then subuh bangun kejap . Bagai ayam mematuk padi , then debush ! Bagai perenang terjun dengan aksi kuak lentang . Ketiduranlah sang hamba ini sehingga mentari pun naik menyampah .

Kadang kadang aku pun naik keliru . Aku ni , skema sangat ke ? Rasa pelik bila jadi stok yang tak tidoq lepas subuh , sebab majoriti buat macam tu .. See . Inilah contoh Grey Sindrom yang aku mention tadi . Bajet baik la buat statement tak tidoq lepas subuh heh ? Hm .. you choose the righteous path for your own life .

Something From Anwaq Hadi Yg Da Lama Menyepi~

This is my choice . So , I have to accept all the requirement for me to be real muslim . Because I am a muslim.
Full time muslim .

Full time muslim . Ingat Allah bukan kat masjid je . Ingat Allah bukan waktu solat je . Ingat Allah bukan bile nak 'membaham' je . Ingat Allah bukan dalam kelas CTU je . Ingat Allah bukan bila tengok abang lebai atau akak tudung labuh je . Ingat Allah bukan nak bukak puasa je . Ingat Allah bukan untuk mintak macam-macam je . Ingat Allah bukan bila dengar lagu Maher Zain je . Ingat Allah bukan bile nak quotes ayat-ayat cinta dalam fesbuk .

Aku pun banyak sangat kelemahan yang payah nak dibaiki . Karat jahiliah masih bersarang dalam hati . Jalan ini memang susah . Tapi , I've made my choice . Because , on this path , I can meet my HIM . The One that love me with out any reason . CintaNya yang tak pernah berkurangan . CintaNya yang sentiasa membara . CintaNya yang sentiasa menanti penuh setia .

RAEF - WITH YOU 

 Allah,
I need Allah,
And the hearts all over the world tonight.
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight

What can I do?
I need Allah,
And the hearts all over the world tonight.
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Wish I was smarter, when I was younger.
Found something better - made me a winner and,
I'm so glad to be Yours!
It's my life that you own.


I start my journey when You forgive me 
I swear my whole world stops.
You are in my heart and, I'm so glad that its fine 
You are One truly kind...

You lighten me!
(I) Feel it, through and through, and
For sure ya Rabbee, there ain't nothing You can't do!
Because if I got You,
I don't need money!
I don't need cars!
Lord, you're my all!

And...Oh!
I'm into You my Lord,
No one else would do!
With every test you put me through,
the miracles, you help me do..
And now I know I can't be the only one,
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight,
with the Love of their life who feel...what I feel when I'm

With You, with You, with You, with You, ya Rahman! 
With You, with You, with You, ya Raheem!

I don't want nobody else
Without You there's no one left and, 
the Master of judgment day,
I got to have Your love and I cannot do without,

If I got You,
I don't need money!
I don't need cars!
Lord, you're my all!

Oh!
I'm into You my Lord,
No one else would do!
With every test you put me through,
the miracles, you help me do..

With You, with You, with You, with You, ya Rahman! 
With You, with You, with You, ya Raheem!

And I will never try to deny,
That You are my life,

Because if You ever let me go I would die!

So, I won't front!
I don't need another mission,
I just need you as my vision!
If I got You, I'll be straight,
Rabbee I need you every day!

I need Allah...
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight
What can I do?

I need Allah...
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Rab ighfirly
Fantal kareemuu!

Wa3fu ya rabbee
Fantar raheemuu!

With You, with You, with You, with You, ya Rahman! 
With You, with You, with You, ya Raheem! 

Semoga Allah Cinta .